On Facebook, someone posted this link to an article written by a woman about how to inquire about ethinicity without "being an asshole". I just wanted to share my personal thoughts and reactions to the article because it touches on several different issues.
First, I do not understand (at all) why inquiring about someone's background is at all offensive, unless it is followed by some sort of racist comment, joke, or something similar. We live in a society where people constantly want to divide themselves up according to their ethnicity, sexual orientation, or some other factor. Don't believe me? Look at the clubs, groups, holidays, etc. that spring up based around an identity of some sort. I have no problem celebrating different groups, but to then turn around and be all offended when people ask about these same groups is *EXTREMELY* hypocritical and nonsensical. By asking where your family is originally from (ok, maybe not the best phrasing, but still) or a similar question, you are in fact honoring the person's background. Is there anything wrong with that? I think not! Now, I will admit that there are people who ask these sorts of questions in order to make judgments, but it is unwise to throw out the baby with the bathwater.
Also, the writer complains about her perception that these questions promote "othering". I understand this complaint, and in fact am not fond of othering myself. But, again, I think this complaint is unfounded. By asking where someone is from, you are seeking to understand them and broaden your horizons. Does it lead to some overgeneralization? Yes, but any categorization will do that. It sucks, but that is human nature. I do look forward to the day where people won't just judge based on appearance or other external factors, but I do not know if that day will ever come. Until then, the best way to combat prejudice is to help people see that "the other" is not so different from them which can only promote understanding.
I am definitely annoyed at the implication in the article that only white people ask these sorts of questions and then only of non-white people. I have had people of many different ethnic and racial background ask me about where my family is from. It is a good conversation starter, because it is entirely possible that there may be something in the backgrounds of both the questioner and the questionee that can lead to a great conversation.
At the risk of overgeneralizing, this article seems to come from a viewpoint that I find very annoying and problematic. Basically the viewpoint is of someone who wants to celebrate their ethnic background, but only in their own way and anyone who is white (let's face it that is the only questioner she talks about) who asks these sorts of questions is an asshole. So basically, whites are supposed to let people of other ethnicities celebrate their ethnicities while not inquiring about the ethnicities themselves. It is an extreme double standard and, quite frankly, racist insofar as it targets people of a specific race. Also, the viewpoint lumps all white people together while condemning white people who do the same thing. Gee, hypocrisy much?
So, do we celebrate different ethnicities and seek to understand them or do we look at everyone the same? These two goal are, in fact, mutually exclusive. Either we acknowledge and celebrate the impact that different ethnicities have on us as individuals and as a society while acknowledging that we are all humans and worthy of respect or we act like everyone is the same. Personally, I choose the first. While I may not like everything about it, I do see it as having the best overall impact.